Inspired by the following items: Funnel, Nicholas, ostrich, caber, byre, Norwegian, spruce, moose, Halifax, toboggan.
A BRAND-NEW ADVENTURE PLAYGROUND OPENS IN ESSEX
Nick’s theme tune, broadcast at maximum decibels from a crude set of speakers mounted on a renovated toboggan fitted with a fake funnel and dragged around the outer arena by two reluctant shire horses was Hoots Mon.
Hoots Mon was written by Harry Robinson; an early rock n roll number performed by Lord Rockingham’s X1 which was no 1 for three weeks in 1958. It was an instrumental based on an old Scottish folk song but featured a short, voiced refrain by the band’s sax player, one Benny Green, effecting a fake Scottish accent
“There’s a Moose loose about this Hoose!”
Nicholas raised his first loan courtesy of the Halifax Building Society. He used it to erect a byre on the field opposite his father’s house. His first live acquisition was a moose and his second an ostrich. He thought either or both would be an attraction for city-based kids to whom he intended to appeal. He then set about creating a caber from a giant Norwegian spruce which had been allowed to grow unchecked in one corner of the field. All he needed now was a way of appealing to a bunch of tossers.
Jeremy Corbyn gave it his immediate endorsement.